Setting Up

Whoa, here's to 2012.

It's amazing to see where the year has taken me, where the Lord has pushed me to as I continue walking alongside Him in this greater journey of faith. There have been so many challenges, so many moments of light and hope that I cannot seem to fathom all of how He has changed me and will continue to do so in the next while. Perhaps the biggest challenge was simply choosing to rediscover the glory of God. Perhaps the most challenging moment is to come home to a family of non- believers, of lost hope, and tell them that you're invested and wholeheartedly giving your life over to God. It was He who has gave me the greatest courage to sit down and have those conversations with the people who care about me, the people who want the best for me as I'm desperately attempting to drink from the glory of God and His tapestry for me.

Challenged or not, afraid of my own capabilities, afraid of conversations and the like, I've learned that it's not about me. This is not about me or about the pieces of my life; it's strictly about trusting God, leaning on Him, and beginning to give that over the best way that I can. When my mind gets ahead of me, when the anxiety sets me up for moments of nerve and some restless nights, I have to start reminding myself that this was never once about me. The place that I am is not of my own accord, it's for the will and the love of the One who has so graciously welcomed me. That's the breath I need to remember to take sometimes when I seem to be caving inside myself and forgetting the One who knows me and sees me at the best and the worst. Challenges are meant for a reason; instead of taking the nerves and the worry I need to keep remembering that it was something much greater than any pile of nerves and sleepless nights can ever do for me.

I've completed two applications for graduate school now. One for Arcadia and one for Biblical Seminary school. Are my parents happy about the latter? Of course not, but once again, it's not about me or them. This decision and the movements according are strictly opportunities that God is planting before me to use the skills I continually cling to.

Today a counselor from Biblical called asking to talk before the remainder of the application was completed. He simply asked what it was that has interested me to Biblical and to the counseling program overall: an answer I've been trying to find the proper words to for months now. I've always had the desire to help people, to share the stories of the broken and the hopeful all in the same conversation and what better way to do that through the foundation and heat of faith? What better way to do that then to rely on the presence of God, relying on the ways that he can teach me and provide a harbor for those that I can come face to face with in future months. What better way then to speak the truth and joy of God's gift for those who follow Him? I'm overly hopeful to see what's next.

Apart from the application process I've begun the process of applying for the To Write Love application. There's a video application and a written portion. We'll see how my movie making skills go for this first portion. The goal for completing this process is by Feb 1st as a personal statement to the members of the intern program. As it gets closer, as this organization weighs on my heart more and more with every day, I am so overly excited for everything that is to come.

When the nerves persist, when my mind sinks to the dark corners and the reality floods to the point where it causes me to fail to put God first, that's when I need to step back. Forever and always.

There's great opportunities being set up by the one who has overwhelmed my heart. God, you are great.

Colossians 3:2