It's really been awhile since I've sat down to take some time to reflect on anything. What better time to do that than in the Ft. Lauderdale Airport waiting to go back to the good old Philadelphia area. I've loved my time here beyond belief- it was just what I needed to rejuvenate myself and, in my own way, get a little bit closer to God and some of the potential plans he has for my future.
My dad and I came here with the intent to check on my grandparents. We received word that my grandmother was struggling with her memory and some other things and God allowed us to find a flight the next morning to come here. The beginning of amazement. We stepped off the planned and I just felt renewed. It was nice to see a different area, to feel a different temperature in the air and feel myself wake up a little bit. Yes, I knew I had work to get done and I still have a little bit to finish, but God will help me out. I know he's been watching me and telling me to just take a breather, so that's exactly what I've been trying to do. We arrived at my grandparents house to one of the greatest surprises: my family from texas- aunt, uncle and their 4 kids- were there waiting for us. We haven't seen each other in about 6 years. IT'S AMAZING how kids grow. It's even more how old you can feel in a matter of two seconds.
That night after I'd taken some time to talk to my cousins and catch up on their lives. To see what their future plans are and whether or not they're looking forward to college, I felt overwhelmed. I went in the back room and just prayed to God. The hardest I think I have in awhile. I thanked him for getting us there safely of course, but I thanked him endlessly for bringing us together again after so much time. They're not a family of believers, but I could feel something moving us as we just sat around the table talking about life. God was there. He was in a different form for everyone, but He was there no less. I broke down in complete adoration and appreciation.
My two oldest cousins and I made nightly trips to Dunkin Donuts. Simple, sure. Yet when you don't have Dunkin in Texas? It's heaven. Every night I just thanked God for giving me that time with them. For opening my heart and letting me here their stories, see their growth and see the wonderful men that they are becoming. Even now I'm getting emotional thinking about it. We just left them 3 hours ago and I already miss them dearly.
I had talked to Caylynn before coming down here about telling my family my rediscoveries in Faith. I've wanted to talk about it ever since things started reviving in me, but I was afraid to sit and have the conversation. Before my dad and I had left I told myself we would talk. No matter what. I just wanted him to listen and just hear me. Hear how I'm beginning to believe and love God.
So, the first night we got there? I did. I thought of Matthew 6:34 and just let my anxieties go to the wind. I've never ever been so anxious in my life, but I just handed it over completely. I told him the biggest decision: I'm getting baptized this year. Most likely at Epic in November. I just have to check the dates.
Man. There it is. It's happening.
He listened. He heard me. But he's not sold yet. In that moment though, I was not disappointed. I thanked God for at least giving me the courage and strength to speak about it. Whatever happens from here on is something that only the Lord can control.
Beyond that? We visited Cocoa Florida. For those of you who don't know, this is the To Write Love headquarters. My dad thought maybe we should drive out to the area while we had some time. No, I don't have the internship, and I might not get it, but I got to stand face to face with my dream. Only time will tell.
Again, I broke down. Emotional wreck. I felt God right with me. Speaking to me and my heart. Telling me to hold out and just keep working. Keep being devoted to To Write Love. Success is in different facets of life. I was just amazed. I'm still amazed. God was totally with me shaking me and getting to my deepest core. I don't know if I'm making sense, but I don't know if I can definitely describe the wonders of this week.
God is here. God is with me. And that's everything.
This week has been amazing in all aspects. I've experienced the wonder of God and Faith, of relationships and strength of dreams and hope. I'm floored.
We're getting ready to board the plane soon, but I just wanted to get this out. I've got a thousand different emotions running wild right now. Crazy!
Please just pray that we make it home safe tonight.
God's moving across the globe. <3
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