Glory

This week- these past few weeks have been absolutely insane. Between summer classes, AU stuff, TWLOHA stuff, Bible study and everything else swirling around I've been really crazy.

I'm starting week 3 of Bible study tomorrow. I feel like yes, I should be further along. I should be starting further into this and making more time to devote to scripture. Yet, I know God sees me working hard. God knows that I can handle everything that he's given to me. It's definitely been a challenge and a balancing act lately.

There's definitely pieces of my faith that I wish more and more to share with my family. I listened to an Epic podcast this weekend and when my dad came in asking what I was doing? I wish I could have really told him. I wish I could share some of the things I'm learning and the comfort I'm finding in God's hand. It's not that my parent's aren't supportive of what I do- it's just a challenge to talk about my Faith with them. To talk about the fact that I really and wholeheartedly want to give my life over to God and do whatever it takes to grow in Him. I'll just keep praying for that day to happen. It's in the works. I can feel the strength motivating me.

There's been a ton of things happening with to write love, and with me finding out who I am through the organization. What my story really is and how that incorporates into God's plan. I went to Arcadia this past week for a summer orientation day and kind of pitched the idea of our Uchapter and some of the things I've been hoping to get accomplished. Two kids came up to me later in the day and shared their stories with me- of their own struggles and how it is that they want to get involved when they come in the Fall. I kid you not when I say that I broke down. Broke down at the sheer joy and the absolute grace that people care about this message as much as I do. It's outstanding and every time I really stop to think about it, I can't even fathom the process.

 On a break period that day I sat outside Landman Library, under the weird tree where everyone thinks you're being a creeper, and simply thanked Jesus. I praised Him for giving me the strength and the power to do this. For giving me the skills and the courage to pursue this dream even after everything that's happened in the past year. This organization, this message has given shaped to my story. I didn't get it at first. I more or less developed the woe is me attitude and blamed God. I blamed God for a lot of things, but during this summer, and through some of the things that I have been faced with in the year? I'm amazed by God. I'm amazed by His love and openness for me. For my journey and for my love to grow in Him. It felt good to just sit down, reflect, and praise Jesus. Praise Jesus for His glory. An awesome personal worship moment for me.

I've seen my best friend this past weekend. Although her past, my past, and our memories challenge me and my heart almost every time I see her, we're doing okay. She's 5th months pregnant now and says that the baby kicks when she goes to sleep every night. I was hoping it would kick for me, but I wasn't lucky enough yet. Sooner or later I'll have the pleasure of feeling that little miracle. I know it.

Thinking on it now I just hope God gives her the right direction. If she keeps this baby she'll have support. If she puts it up for adoption, it'll be loved no matter what. She told me the other day she doesn't think she'll be a good mom. It took every inch of me not to cry. Whatever happens with this baby I know that she'll be a good mom- whether she makes the this decision or she finds the strength to keep it for herself. God's watching her. We talk about her every night. About how things have changed, about how she's changed and she needs God's love more than ever.

It's been a journey so far this summer, but everyday I feel a little bit more empowered. A little bit stronger because of God's touch. I never understood when people said that, but now it just overwhelms me to the fullest capacity. How great is our God!

God is good. God is so good.
I wish you all well. <3